Aloise

purplepeoplelickingtruthpeddler:

daywatch:

lavvyan:

blue-bird-of-two-faces:

spottytonguedog:

maneth985:

phil-of-the-phuture:

anonymouscatperson:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

catf8sh:

bye-onara:

robotbisexual:

karajames:

poonpie:

thesoftgrape:

thehumorousace:

lgbtqpjo:

People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™

Straight person: Hey, you got a new haircut. Looks really good.

Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.

In case you were confused 👌

Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays

White people who are gay: “I’m gay.”

White Gays: “I can’t believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slur! I mean, I know what racism looks like because I’ve been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? I’M GAY!”

Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging

neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders
Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨

cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender

Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺

men: I identify as male.

Men™: feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch

atheists: I don’t believe in god or identify with a religion

Atheists™: Don’t fucking talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed-fucking-minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians)

nice guys: hey I know when not to invade someone’s space and I totally respect boundaries

Nice Guys™: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO FUCK ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME?

this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it

This post is perfection across the board.

christians: i believe in God

Christians™: GOD IS THE ONLY GOD OH GOD IS THAT STAR A PENTAGRAM?!?!?!?!?! READ YOUR BIBLE EVERYDAY IF YOU DONT YOUVE FAILED ALSO IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME IN ANY WAY YOURE GONNA GO TO HELL CAUSE IM A CHRISTIAN AND IM EXEMPT FROM RULES CAUSE GOD SAID SO

gamers: I like video games

Gamers™: Video Games are Art and you can keep your political correctness bullshit right out of them! Anyway that female character CHOSE to dress that way!

Vegan: okay but does it contain eggs?

Vegan™: if your dish does not rely on the corporate take over of this one grain that indigenous people have been using as their staple food then you are personally slaughtering animals, the cardinal sin of humanity

Abled: I can do things, so how can I help?

Abled™: disability is beautiful if you let it be! It should be inspiring! You’re inspiring me to to do what I already can do with zero hinderance! This is your chance to prove how strong you are. You should be thankful for the fact that you’re forced to be strong by a society that doesn’t feel like helping because it builds character. Just because you can withstand a lot, actually means exactly that you have to. But it inspires me!!! So it’s fair.

Source: lgbtqpjo

kitkat-the-muffin:

alpinewriter:

one-time-i-dreamt:

I was hanging around at my boyfriend’s place (in hindsight he was probably Satan) and we were just chilling, doing normal things, when a long, sleek, black car pulled up outside of his house. My boyfriend, suddenly very nervous and twitchy, told me to go and hide in the closet. When I asked him what was up, he just told me it was a “work associate” so I went and did as he said. I peeked a little bit out of the closet to see who this person was. I wanted to see who could possibly get my boyfriend, the actual Devil, to tremble in fear. And lo and behold, it was Ted Cruz.

Reflections on this post:

1. I need to read URLs.

2. “in hindsight he was probably Satan” may be the single greatest hook to a story that I’ve ever seen.

3. The levels of stress and suspense that occur in the rising action here rival that of some of the greatest survival horror works that exist on this earth.

4. “And lo and behold, it was Ted Cruz” is probably the only sentence that could make the conclusion to this story more terrifying, and ended the story in a way far superior to anything my own sense of dread could have come up with.

This dream got a freakin book review

Source: one-time-i-dreamt

mira–ctm:

protagonico:

te deseo de la forma más inocente

y de la otra forma igual

Source: protagonico

softparrishs:

… in that moment, blue was a little in love with all of them. their magic. their quest. their awfulness and strangeness. her raven boys.

Source: softparrishs